Do You Trust Me?

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.

                           Isaiah 26:3

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
    whose trust is the Lord.
He is like a tree planted by water,
    that sends out its roots by the stream,
and does not fear when heat comes,
    for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought,
    for it does not cease to bear fruit.”

                           Jeremiah 17:7-8

The other day I watched the movie Enola Holmes, a period piece about the teenage sister of the famous British detective. I enjoyed it tremendously, as it was engaging and full of intrigue. There was a scene in which she and a young man are being chased on a train when she spies an escape that would require jumping off onto a grassy slope as the train slowed down while approaching a bridge. She didn’t get the chance to explain her plan to this young man; seconds before it was time to jump (because the villain was ever so close), she looked him straight in the eye with outstretched hand and said, “Do you trust me?” He hesitated for a brief moment, clasped her hand and jumped. Despite the bumps and bruises, they safely escaped to London.

The next morning that scene’s question reminded me of another movie in which the question was posed the same way—Aladdin. In fact, it’s posed twice—both by Aladdin, and both to Princess Jasmine, in different situations but both with the same outstretched hand and almost challenging way in which it was posed. Jasmine’s character of course takes Aladdin’s hand and flees harm’s way in the first scenario, and sees a whole new world while riding a magic carpet in the second.

There have been a lot of challenges going on for me this year, both personally and professionally. In addition to my husband having been laid off from his job back in March because of the lockdown (don’t worry—he found another one in July), I found out in February that the service that I was the program manager for was going to end in October and that I would have to find a new job after the end of January 2021 or receive a severance package. It’s a standard practice and it isn’t anything personal; “it is what it is”, as the saying goes. My stepmother passed away suddenly at the end of May, leaving my dad to have to sort out family issues with her children and navigate trust paperwork and car titles all through the midst of a pandemic. I’ve experienced a couple of health-related concerns (don’t worry—I’m okay) and not too long ago, I had to run a close family member to the emergency room for chest pains for which we still don’t know the cause (it wasn’t a heart attack). I am burdened with concern for the church family still feeling like a family, given the separations we’ve experienced as of late. Add to all of this the emotional and mental overhead and toll that the pandemic, extended political drama, concerns about civil unrest and division, and I am admittedly overwhelmed.

I’ve grappled with the fact that I’m feeling stressed at times, not because I feel like I shouldn’t be experiencing hard times—no, I know that the difficult times are purposeful for my spiritual growth. I grapple with that fact because I feel that as a believer, I shouldn’t be stressed because I know He has my whole life with its heavy and silly drama in His hands. I have even written about the liberty I have felt in knowing that those big boulders are all taken care of in Him. Husband gets laid off—God has us. I have to undergo a nuclear stress test because the cardiologist saw an irregularity in my regular stress test results—God’s got this (and He does—my heart is fine). I’m faced with working to shut down a program I gave four years of my blood, sweat, and tears to and have to find a job when it’s through—God has me through and through. So why am I stressed? Do I not have enough faith?

These questions were rattling around in my head during my prayer time the other day when the scene I described earlier from Aladdin popped into my head (where Aladdin reaching out to Jasmine asking “do you trust me?”) I remember thinking that the topic would make a great devotional, made a mental note of it, and continued to pray. It wasn’t until later that it hit me that the question was more than a devotional topic—that it was a question He was posing to me. “Do you trust Me?” I’m ashamed to admit that my initial reaction was one of fear to the point of almost dread—if I say “yes”, does that mean that something else is going to happen? Is He going to test/prune/grow me even more?

What I’ve realized since then is that to truly surrender and die to myself, as I am called—as we as believers are called to do—I have to acknowledge with both my words and my actions that He is the Lord of my life and as such, has all of my tomorrows in His hands. And even if those tomorrows come with even greater challenges to my so-called earthly security, ones that threaten to add water to the deep end of the pool in which I feel at times that I’m barely treading water, I know that my life preserver comes in the promises of hope my Father gives me in His Word, and in the comforting presence of His Holy Spirit. When the waves of chaos start to close in, I need to be deliberate in my calling out to Him, through direct prayer and requests to friends to pray for me. He will never leave me nor forsake me. I also know I do not have to bear the burdens alone, and I will be better about asking for prayers from my Christian brothers and sisters.

Yes, Lord, I do trust You. I trust You in all things.

 Prayer Requests

·      For Maurice Perkins, who fell last week and is in the hospital, and for encouragement and support for Betty.

·      For Bill Horn, who fell and broke his elbow while visiting family, and for comfort and support for Grace as they seek an orthopedist

·      For unity within the Church as we face untold distractions and challenges

·      For us to trust in Him and to seek His will in all things

Dear ones, let us always seek to trust the one Who created the heavens and earth, determines the number of stars and calls them by name.

Quotes

“God isn’t asking you to figure it out. He’s asking you to trust that He already has."

“Surrender your pen. Trust God to write your story.”