Ch-ch-ch-changes
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
I need to share that the 15 months or so has brought a remarkable amount of change in my life, with diehard commitments ceasing or slowing down markedly, former beloved teammates opting to leave the company (either through severance packages or retirement), the passing of my stepmother, work programs ending, a shakeup in a Christian bible study/accountability group that resulted in a friend leaving the group, changes within the church, all culminating in my younger son graduating college and moving into an apartment with two roommates. All of this, mind you, over the same course of time that a worldwide pandemic and lockdown is going on.
To go along with the adage of “when God closes a door, He opens a window”, I will say that there have been corresponding positives in relation to some of the things I mention above: one of the teammates who left the company is getting to stay at home with her five-year-old daughter and is happier than I’ve ever seen her; my dad met a nice Christian lady who makes him happy and they are engaged; my younger son is now adulting!
I’ve lived enough years on this planet to know that experiences such as the things I list are a normal part of life—change is constant, and is required to enable growth. At the risk, however, of sounding like a big whiny baby—I do have to say that it has felt like a large amount of change in a short time. Or perhaps it is a normal amount, but the fact that it all took place during a pandemic and lockdown just made it feel like a lot of change.
Regardless, it got to be overwhelming at times. I can compartmentalize with the best of them, and that is how I coped with some of the bigger ticket items, but there did come a point where events overlapped from a timing perspective. The unsettled feeling that I felt about people leaving work didn’t stay in its neatly built container. It jumped invisible lines and started manifesting itself in the tense interplay between people I deeply cared for, affecting not only group dynamics, but also me, and at times, my walk with the Lord.
I don’t like the fact that it’s been over a month since I wrote the last devotional. I’ve had a couple of topic swirling around in my mind, as I always do, but couldn’t bring myself to sit down to start writing, and rely on the Holy Spirit to finish them. I longed for that to happen, but I took the easy way out and found other things to do with my time. And then, me being who I am, I felt bad for not writing the devotional, which created some space for the enemy to continue to poke.
Y’all, I knew that the Lord’s hand was in each of the events and the timing of such and yet, I couldn’t find any joy or comfort in the whole of them. I will share that I was obedient to His word and thanked Him for the trials and challenges I was facing, but only because His word said that I should to do, not necessarily because I was thankful. And I owned up to that fact directly. I’d hoped that He would honor that act, and that His Holy Spirit would work on my heart to bring it where it needed to be—truly submissive, truly grateful, truly in a position that acknowledged His sovereignty and my lack thereof.
He’ll get me there—as long as I surrender and die to self every day. Not gonna lie—the struggle is real. Sometimes it’s the number of changes and context switching in a given day or week (death by a thousand paper cuts), but more often, it’s the depth or substance of the change that threatens to topple me. But topple me they do not—for the Lord is with me. Because I have made the LORD my dwelling place, no evil shall be allowed to befall me, nor plague come near my tent (Psalm 91: 9-10).
Like death and taxes, change is chaotic, unsettling, and inevitable. God, however, does not change. He is immutable. The writer of Hebrews declares that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever (Hebrews 13:8). Malachi 3:6 tells us “For I, the Lord, do not change; therefore you, O sons of Jacob, are not consumed.” His constancy is promising and comforting.
Prayer Requests
Prayers for:
Those facing frightening health prognoses
Families impacted by abuse or addiction
Those grieving the loss of loved ones
May you partake of the Lord’s constancy in your time of chaos. If you are struggling, please do not do this all in your own strength. You are part of the body of Christ – you have Christian brothers and sisters who are here to envelop you in prayer, love, and support.
Quotes
‘If it’s out of your hands, it deserves freedom from your mind, too.’
‘The girl who seemed unbreakable, broke. She dropped the fake smile and whispered, “Jesus, I can’t do this anymore.” And He replied, “Daughter, I never wanted you to. I’ve been waiting for you to let Me carry you.”’
‘When you replace “why is this happening to me?” with “what is this trying to teach me?”, everything shifts.’